Most LGBT people will decide to ‘Come Out’ at
some point in their lives, and for many university is the
easiest place to start. For some people, coming out is fairly
simple and painless; for others it may be accompanied by much
angst and soul searching. For many it is an important part
of being honest to themselves and accepting themselves for
who they are – LGBT people sometimes talk about coming
out to themselves.
However you feel about it, there are people at hand to talk
to, to help make it easier – both your LGBT reps are
happy to chat through it, as well as the Balliol Peer Supporters,
Nightline and the Oxford Friend phoneline.
There is no one ‘right’ way to come out, and
you only need to do as much as you are comfortable with. You
may wish to shout it from the rooftops, but it’s ok
if you only want to tell a very close friend. Don’t
be pressured into moving faster than is right for you, and
don’t feel you have to ‘label’ yourself
if you don’t want to.
Though there is no coming out ‘formula’, you
might find some of these tips useful:
Do:
Make sure that you’re comfortable with yourself
and your sexuality/gender identity before you decide to come
out on an industrial scale!
Talk about it with someone you trust. There are many
people in Balliol who can support you.
Give loved ones a chance to let it sink in and think
about it – it may be a surprise to them, even if you’ve
always known.
Don’t:
Come out in an argument
Be pressured into coming out before you are ready
Put too much pressure on yourself – there is no
rush.
Think being LGBT means you have to change to fit a stereotype
– be whoever you want to be.
Transgender
Many of the same coming out issues apply to transgendered
people as well as LGB people. On the other hand, people questioning
their gender identity may find it more difficult to access
support and information throughout the questioning, coming
out, and transitioning process.
It can take a while to come to terms with feelings of being
the ‘wrong’ gender, internalised transphobia,
and the anxiety often felt when people are questioning their
gender identity. Coming out (to yourself and others) can be
a liberating experience, and there are many organisations
and people who can support you on your journey, whether or
not you eventually identify as transgender or not.
Young Women’s Coming Out Guides are available from
your LGBT reps, or from the LGBT Board in the JCR
Oxford Friend - Oxford Lesbian and Gay Helpline
01865 726893
Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday evenings from 7:00pm to 9:00pm.
http://www.oxfordfriend.co.uk
