News

This modern fairytale started on the 11th February 2003. The three wise men had been following the star high in the sky for a period of three days, when they came upon the wonderful Liverpool. Unfortunately, they did not quite make it to the beautiful Liverpool University Hospital to see the birth of Ben. Having seen the general despair of all living in the North they decided that God must have been mistaken and turned back Eastward.

• Monday - Ben got into an argument with a priest after claiming only lazy people believe in God and he would do his own smiting.
• Tuesday - The smashed crockery in the kitchen was a testament to Ben's ire after being told that the average man spends 7 years shopping for the perfect grill. He had himself spent 7 hours that day shopping for one.
• Wednesday - "Who keeps leaving fluff in my belly button.

Having been inundated with virulent responses that the Balliol JCR (Registered Charity Number - 1144032) is turning into a Nanny State, I have decided to ignore these and press ahead with the implementation of an alert system for the Weekly Updates.

There will be a test of these procedures on the 31st of April at 3:00 PM.

Ben has gone from strength to strength over the vacationary period. Having ended his term on Everistian heights of winning the tower 4/6 Balliol Green Week Energy Saving by Cutting down on Heating Competition, he managed to conquer the government assigned cooking challenge otherwise known as the BBC Goodfoods Key Lime Pie.

At this point he has transcended far above the insignificance that us mere mortals act out in our lesser lives. Having braved the sharp wit and elevated mental acuity of Jeremy Paxman, Benjamin thought it wise to attempt the unthinkable; to face challenges that no Balliolite has ever surmounted before. He wanted to try to win the Balliol Green Week Energy Saving competition.

As decreed in the IT Policy the yearly Spoofing/Phishing test has been carried out.

With 71 failures recorded out of 405, the results are disappointing. Discounting the recorded failure by "lol" and "heyyyyy" - congrats to whoever figured out how to submit that :)), and myself probably being unlikely to fall for a phishing test conducted by myself we have 69/404 failures. That is a 17.0792... % failure rate. Given that only one hacked account is needed to compromise the security we have that for every 100 phishing emails sent to the JCR our saftey will be compromised 6900 times.

Welcome to the Weekly Careers-related updates:

Please note these important dates:

• 13 March 12:00: deadline for UK summer internships

  • Summer internships are 2-12 weeks long