News

Due to a lack of attendence at the midday lantern making today, we are running remedial lantern making at midnight on Tuesday - before the latern walk at midnight on Wednesday.

Also due to thieves in the JCR all the colored paper was stolen, so please bring your own! And tracing paper if you have it!

Are you getting S.A.D? Why not try some autumnal arts and crafts. At 1a.m. on the 11th of Saturday join us for a latern lit walk leaving from plodge. Here is a quick guide on making your lantern. Help can be provided. You will be reimbursed for all purchases by the JCR.

Materials you will need:

RON, the Silent Contender: A Mysterious Presence in Balliol JCR's Presidential Race

In a charged atmosphere at Balliol College's President Hustings on November 3, 2023, two charismatic candidates, Amerleen and Harry, took to the stage to compete for the coveted position of JCR president. However, amid the fervor of campaign speeches and debate, a third candidate, known as Ron, silently observed, casting a cryptic shadow over the proceedings.

Upon first tasting Ben describes it as 

Rather bland, lacking texture.

The brocolli is of a watery variety, and thus upon cooking comes out rather flaccid. The salmon is thankfully scottish but still of a pale variety and distribution over the quiche is uneven with larger chunks disrupting the quiche experience. The base also lacks the required crispiness that Ben expects in top level quiche.

Quiche Quality Assessment

This outputs a value of -7 (Bad quiche) to 23 (Good quiche) Combining multiple factors.

Quality Score Formula

Quiche Quality Score (Q) = (0.4712 * Color Vibrancy) + (0.3142 * Cooking Time) + (0.3142 * Crispiness) + (0.1571 * Number of Ingredients) + (1.2566 * Flavor) + (0.3142 * Creaminess) + (0.6283 * Presentation) + (0.6283 * Creativity) - (0.6283 * Eccentricity) + (0.9424 * Reflectivity) + (0.7853 * Bounciness) + (0.9424 * Flippability) + (0.6283 * Mouth Feel) + (0.6283 * Mouth Sound) + (0.6283 * Whiskey Pairability)

His cravings could not be sated. Like a new born Russian oligarch after his first taste of caviar the simple stuff could no longer quench his quiche thirst, he needed beluga. So of course the natural thing to do was get the Tesco Finest Vintage Cheddar & Caramelised Onion Quiche 420G.

Ben was until this day a quiche virgin. But having been told enough times that he looks like a man who would enjoy a good quiche he thought that must change. Two weeks ago he had marked in his calendar that today would be the day he buys a quiche. So promptly at 9:15am he descended from the lofty heights of dicey into our mortal realm.

Introduction

Vigilant Inhibition of Ghosh's Inflammatory Liquid: A Network of Tiny Mice In the Crosshairs of Extermination.

Manifesto for the Liberation and Equality of Dicey's Mice